so i'm home for the summer i have a headache cus of the south beach diet i want to lose thirty pounds...need to join the gym i really miss my job from last summer, though i got a job today the pay is less and the people dont seem as friendly but hey i might want to work there for a day before i quit right? the sun hasn't shone in about five days, that could be why i'm a little well not sad or depressed but just feel out of it i dont want to unpack and clean but know i need to i miss brandon i miss amber i miss dani i miss melissa :( sometimes i just feel really lonely..looking back i'm remembering that i was the closest to God when i was suicidal, ironic I'm nervous about work and about going back to school early i wish i was tan ..or could tan easily -- I just read one of mary raines' old xanga posts where she said her brother called and told her he missed her. i wish my brother did that so that i would have a reason cry and feel sad that i hadnt seen him in awhile. it seems to always come from my end. i dont think that i have a lot of friends. i have few and the best friends in the world but i guess i just wish i was more popular--but then i suppose that that wouldnt be me, and i should count my blessings! its nice to have my own bed and shower back PTL for the good things in life | 
